I didn't want to go originally. In fact, I had planned on avoiding it. But a good friend of mine convinced me that not going to college would doom me to a life coasting from shit, low paying job to shit, low paying job. In fact, I remember his exact words: "Dude, you can either spend the rest of your life working some shitty minimum wage job, or you can go to college."
That ill-fated conversation still rings in my head to this day. So thanks for that. You know who you are.
But once I seriously considered the idea, I grew excited.
Like many an ignorant youth, I was brought up on the idea that going to college would be good for me; a great education, new friends, some parties, and as a cherry on top of that supposed Awesome Sundae, I would receive a shiny piece of paper proclaiming to world the incredible might of my brain meat.
Afterwards, employment opportunities would rain from the heavens, money would flow freely, and I could live happily ever after flying around the world in my private jet.
That sounds awesome, right? Of course it does.
What I got was the exact opposite of awesome. The college scene is highly exaggerated. Being the simpleminded youngster I was, I didn't realize that. But I quickly discovered my ideas of higher education were *ahem* flawed. My classes, rather than being the fonts of wisdom I envisioned, were for the most part a big waste of time and money; especially money, but I'll get to that. I can honestly say that within a week of the semester ending 80% of the information I learned in nearly all of my classes seeped out of my ear like rancid snot. I don't know whose at fault for that colorful imagery; the American Education System, the inability of my professors to motivate me to really learn the material, or the fact that I could give two fucks about some bullshit required course that had no meaning to my life goals and would have exactly zero usefulness in that frightening place adults called the Real World.
Regardless, I found myself increasingly dissatisfied with my education.
The social scene was little better than it was in high school; I found a small group of people who shared my interests and clung to them like the neediest sloth to the worlds most comfortable branch. Outside of that tiny circle, I associated with people as little as possible. So just like high school, I was in a clique. And so was everyone else for that matter., so nothing new there.
And worse of all, I got no shiny piece of paper. Yes folks, I never graduated.
There are a myriad of reasons (or excuses) why I never got my Magic Paper of Awesome. And since I know you're interested, I'll share. Aren't I such a nice guy?
Reason the First: The administration was complete shit. All they were good for was near constant increases in tuition and every other little added fee they could slip in; the price of housing, the meal plan with its inedible swill, the on-campus activities and events all went up in price and down in quality. And any major decision was met with delay after delay. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn that the university was being run by congress.
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| All in favor of as inept as humanly possible, say "Aye." |
Reason the Second: The Hiring Freeze. During a ghastly three semesters, we were without an official Technical Theatre professor. That might not sound like such a big deal, except that I was a theatre major and I kinda need my technical theatre credits! How cool does it sound to have to sit and wait for the Admin's to get their shit together and provide the students with a teacher so they can complete their major?! Stage Construction, Lighting Design, Sound Design, and Production were all things I needed to learn, and yet could not.
Reason the Third: I didn't need college for my career goal. Ever since I stumbled into my first drama class in middle school, I've wanted to be an actor. Naturally, being young and dumb, I figured the next logical step after high school productions would be college. It wasn't until I faced my pointless delay in receiving my technical theatre credits did I realize that I didn't actual need a degree to act. I had at that point been acting fairly regularly in shows around town. It then hit me that the best way to learn how to act was to go out and act. Audition, work on monologues, see plays, and read.
Don't get me wrong, I did learn how to act while in college; I took every acting class offered, and then some. I had great professors who taught me how to come out of my shell and really perform. But looking back, I could have done that without enrolling in college and wasting thousand of dollars struggling to fulfill course requirements that were unnecessary.
So I quit. And now I suffer the consequences of my foolishness in the form of student loan payments.
My college career has racked up quite the bill, and I now find myself being slowly crushed under the weight of all that debt. Like poor Atlas forever condemned to bear the weight of the celestial sphere, I feel that I'll be forced to endure a life time of this nightmare. For years I've been going through one crap job after another, unable to afford payments; some years, eating and making the rent has been a challenge. And of course, as I run and hide from my doom, it persists, eternally the Pepe Le Pew to my Penelope Pussycat.
Dealing with this debt is causing me serious anxiety, and I don't know how much of it I can take. I'm so sick and tired of having the Sword of Damocles looming over my head. As it stands now, rent, bills, food and transportation plus my loans leaves me barely able to live, let alone save money. And if something serious comes up, like a trip to the hospital or an early release of Kingdom Hearts 3, I'm absolutely boned.
And I have no real options.
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