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| Do you smell what the Rock is cooking? |
No, I am referring to the current state of affairs that is my life. So, for those of who are big on schadenfreude, good news! This post is going to be a dozy.
When last we left off, our hero-- that's me-- was in a bitter spiral of despair and depression based off of a number of tragic events. I had been unemployed for a period of four months and unable to find a new job and even worse, an orange buffoon had just been elected the leader of the free world. After my last blog post, I figured I needed to take some time and get my head together. Cool down and come up with some kind of plan to navigate this new, frightening world I would soon find myself in.
Well, it's been about five months since that decision, and I'm sad to say that I am officially knee deep in the shit. Bleak political landscape aside-- after all, there isn't much I can do about that except protest, write letters, and bug those in power-- my employment situation has not improved at all. In fact, quite the opposite.
I have hit rock bottom, folks. I stand at the precipice of a looming abyss, desperately swinging my arms in a futile effort to maintain my balance. I used up my unemployment benefits back in February. I have no money, no options, and no time remaining. The one job I have heard back from since I started looking back in August keeps having delays and technical difficulties preventing me from starting. Thus I find myself in the awkward and humiliating position of contemplating moving back in with my mom. If I don't find some form of employment in the next week or so, I'll have to do just that, as I won't have the money to pay next months rent.
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| Though this is a viable option too |
Needless to say, I'm a wee bit depressed and miserable at how terrible things have been working out for me of late. Keeping my head up and trying to stay positive is increasingly difficult, especially when you consider that my entire adult life has been the same struggle, the same constant drudgery through one misfortune after another. Each choice, each action, seems to lead to something worse. I feel like Charlie Brown, trying again and again to kick that football, thinking that maybe this time that bitch Lucy-- or as I like to call her, Life-- won't pull it away at the last second.
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| "Sorry, Darren, you gotta be quicker than that!" |
When you are in a situation such as mine, you can't help but examine your past, looking for that one thing, that one action that caused events to morph into a shit spiral of epic proportions. It's a futile effort that does more harm than good, of course-- like digging at a wound trying to heal over. Because regardless of what may have happened in the past, it does nothing to change the present.
But on the bright side, they say humility is good for you. Considering all of the humble pie I've been eating, I'd say I'm set.
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| Little known fact, humble pie is pecan. I hate pecan. |
