Confessions of a Junk Food Addict

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I had been doing pretty well with my diet; two weeks of eating clean and with controlled portions combined with a vigorous weight lifting regiment was slowly producing results. While I can't actually see any results as of yet, the scale says I've lost a few pounds. But that's to be expected; it's a marathon, not a sprint, as the old saying goes. With patience, diligence, and a little willpower, I will in the span of a few months be thinner, healthier version of myself.

And then I passed by Five Guys.

That infernal burger place has some awesome burgers. Horribly expensive, mind you; their "little" cheeseburger by itself costs over $5. And don't get me started on the fries...needless to say, it's a bad place, run by bad people whose sole purpose is to tempt well-meaning individuals like myself into eating their delicious, evil crack-burgers.

Sad to say, I succumbed it it's seductive siren call. I failed my Will Saving Throw and couldn't pass by the stupid place. I entered and ordered the Little Bacon Cheeseburger with a small order of fries. And I ate it all. I nommed the hell out of it. 

Now I live in shame of my weakness; the long term goal of being in shape and having abs sort of got muddled in the aroma of cooking ground beef. It's dreadful that it happened; the amount of calories in that one meal probably killed whatever progress I'd made during the week. According to the nutritional information posted on their website, the little bacon cheeseburger is 630 calories, while the little fries are 526 per serving. If you've ever eaten at Five Guys, you know that they throw SO MANY fries in the bag with your food; they fill up a cup, which I assume is one regular serving, and then shovel in a mountain full of extra fries, just in case you're worried that you'll avoid the heart attack from the burger and first serving of fries.

So we're looking at a BASE of 1156 calories of filthy fat inducing sludge being pumped into my gullet; that doesn't include the additional calories from the condiments and that other landfill serving of fries. On the plus side, there was no need for additional seasoning; the salt content of my tears provided plenty of extra flavor to my Fat Guy meal.

I look pretty good here, don't you think?

Weight Loss is fairly simple. You burn more calories than you consume everyday, and boom! But of course, the simplest things are often the most complex; if simple was the same as easy, every one would be living in Abs City. As it stands, most of us are not residents of that most glorified metropolis; the housing market must be starved for business.

But I have learned a lesson or two from my relapse into my addiction to crap "food," and I'd like to share it, since I've already shared the humiliating parts. Will power is a finite thing. It's a muscle, and like any muscle, it can become fatigued when used too much. And once it's been reduced to a quivering mass of fail, you end up caving in faster than Charlie Sheen at a Free Drug Giveaway. 

Having discovered that the hard way, I've now resolved to give myself a little treat every other day or so. Nothing truly decadent; something small like a dark chocolate Hershey bar or a single serving of ice cream. Basically, I'm going to reserve 200 calories or so of my dietary budget to be used for junk. I health guru I know once said, "As long as you are good 85% of the time, you'll make progress." 

Let's hope that she's correct.